As a D3 walk-on to D1 commit, I had done the unthinkable.
During my career at Wheaton College (MA) I had dropped my 5k time by over 8 minutes, ran a 10k in sub 42 minutes, and was gearing up for my senior spring season full of even bigger PRs when tragedy struck.
My whole college career I dealt with what I thought was chronic IT band syndrome. I learned recently that this injury does not exist in the medical world, and about 12 weeks ago I was told that chronic pulling had caused a grade 4 stress fracture in my tibia.
My life got pulled out from underneath me…I lost my D1 commitment for a 5th year to Niagara University in the week following my diagnosis, and learned that I would spend my final 6 weeks of college on crutches.
I cried everyday, and still grieve the loss of the experience I could have had. I was counting on my body to get me through one more year of school. I had done everything right. I slowly built up to high mileage, took a down week when I felt tired, cross trained when I needed to, yet this still happened. Sometimes bad things just happen. And although this isn’t my fault, it's still hard losing the sport you love to a chronic injury.
A common assumption I get from those around me is that stress fractures heal, and I’ll be able to go back to running. Unfortunately that is not the case for me, there is nothing at this point they can do to fix my IT band and stop it from tugging on my tibia.
One of the most frustrating parts of my injury was when I told people, they were quick to invalidate me, or not believe my story. This is my reality, and I encourage everyone to believe your friends and athletes when they tell you they are struggling with an injury, whether it be physically or mentally, it is already a hard transition out of sport, and it is only made harder by a lack of support.
Now, I may have lost the ability to do the sport and form of exercise I love but I haven’t lost my love for cross country and track and field. I went to every meet while on crutches this past spring, and now this summer I coach a small group of young athletes. It is my greatest joy watching these athletes fall in love with the sport the right way, and I get to be a part of that. I hope they never take for granted what their body allows them to do. That every moment and race is something to celebrate, no matter if you win or lose. I’ll miss the track forever, but I still get to be a part of it because I am choosing to inspire other young athletes. Even more excitingly, I accepted a role at University of Wisconsin-Platteville to be a graduate assistant coach.
To anyone that has to medically retire or let go of playing the sport they love, please STAY CLOSE. Yes, there will be tough moments of watching from the sidelines, but there will also be moments of immense joy for those around you when they accomplish their goals. I promise you, you will want to be there for those moments.
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