Kim Hildreth: A checklist to choose love for the days when you hate yourself and life a little.

Kim Hildreth is a professional beach volleyball player and NBH-WC Board Certified Health Coach. When she’s not on the beach, she enjoys helping others reach their wellness goals. She’s one of The Hidden Opponent’s greatest supporters, as our mission greatly aligns with her own. Learn more about Kim, her coaching opportunities, and read more blog posts at https://www.healthcoachingwithkim.com/

I didn’t get to control a lot of the opportunities I had, didn’t have, and the adversity I’ve faced on my path.  Some days, I get that queasy feeling in my body when I see things that others have that I never had a chance to have.  Some days I feel jealousy. Some days I hate myself for that.

Some days I find myself:

1. Cheering against other women and their success

2. Criticizing the bodies of others

3. Wishing I had things that other people have

4. Feeling like giving up on all the things I’ve worked for because life can seem so unfair

5. Thinking that I don’t belong

6. Believing that I’m not capable

All of those days, I can barely look in the mirror. Who do I think I am –trying to coach, mentor, and lead when I am the kind of person that has these thoughts and feelings?

There are a lot of paths to success. I find myself frustrated at times watching the paths that others walk and wishing that were my path, too. How naive to believe that another’s path is better, easier, quicker, more blessed than mine?

I have my days.

What a relief it is to know that even though I don’t get to choose to NOT have these days, I do get to CHOOSE how I respond to these days. It’s not written for me. When I feel some type of way, what an incredible part of being human that I have the ability to have awareness of that. What an incredible part of being human that I have the ability to quite literally decide to shift my perspective, and it shifts? Who I was made to be was out of my control. Who I choose to be is my decision, and mine alone.

Here’s my checklist to check myself when I’m having a day:

1. Gratitude. What parts of my journey am I thankful for?

2. Flip the script. What parts of my life are a privilege that others might look at and wish that they had? What things do I appreciate that are a part of my path?

3. Perspective. Who am I to judge the journey of another to be “better” or “easier” than mine? How arrogant of me to presume that I know the struggles or trials that someone else has or has not been through.

4. Acknowledge the needs I have. When your path brings you down, how can you identify what needs you have that aren’t being met? How can you fill that in a different way?

5. Forgive myself. I am human. I am who I strive to be, not who I have been.

6. Redirect the energy. What areas have I been spending my energy that do not serve me? Where can I redirect that time, attention, love, and passion that would serve me better?

You know what the quickest path to success is? Deciding you’ve already succeeded. Choose wisely.

Struggling to stay positive, with your mindset, or feeling stuck? I’ve been there. I’ve built a program to help! Check out the Mindset Program to learn more.