Being an athlete felt like everything
It was who I was and what I was known to be.
I was thought to be strong, tough, unshakable—
In an ideal world, I was unbreakable.
Freshman year, I masked it well.
Behind my cage hid my private hell.
Sickness struck and injuries too,
As time passed, my struggles only grew.
The ice, once a refuge, became a strain,
Each stride, a fight, difficult to explain.
Carrying an unimaginable amount of pain,
The thought of failure weighed heavy on my brain.
I fought to stay, to hold my own,
But it only resulted in me feeling alone.
My mask fell slowly, piece by piece,
Its fall sparked the beginning of my release.
I wore a mask, shielding me so tight,
Fearing that showing cracks might not be right.
But deep inside, I knew it didn’t make me whole,
As this wasn’t defining my heart and soul.
Beyond the athlete, I began to see,
‘Athlete’ wasn’t the only thing that defined me.
There is strength in letting go,
Embracing fears and letting them show.
Stepping away meant personal wealth,
For the first time in a decade, I was choosing myself.
