As I sit on my couch 3 days post operation, I realize that I am a different person than I was three days ago, three months ago, and definitely three years ago… and I could not be happier that I am.
At the age of three I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and as the years passed I gained diagnoses of Severe Depression, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Attention Deficit Disorder and Insomnia. I was incredibly LUCKY to be diagnosed, therefore treated, so early. But at the time, I felt that these diagnoses defined me, and I used sports to cope with that.
Soon enough, I felt that my sport defined me alongside these mental illnesses. A rude awakening occurred when I had two major surgeries for sport related injuries within a year and a half during my freshman year of high school… and my life turned upside down when my surgeon encouraged me to quit soccer; the sport I had known, loved, and identified with, since I was four years old.
For the love of my body, I quit soccer, and began my journey of self exploration outside of both my mental battles, and sports. I quickly found that I was a lot of things OTHER than an athlete. I was a musician, a 4-H member, a friend, a family member, and most importantly, a human, whose experiences were both valid and difficult.
I discovered field hockey within these months during my sophomore year of high school and decided to join. I ended up thriving in a sport that I had learned to love, while also loving all the different things that made me, me, other than just sports. I committed to play Division 3 Field Hockey at Earlham College, where I am now a sophomore.
I just encountered another foot surgery, but this time feels different. I know who I am with and without my sport. I am able to take care of my mental and physical health in a way I can't say I could have three years ago.
I am SO proud of the HUMAN and ATHLETE (in that order) that I am today.
Comments