The Hidden Opponent is excited to support the release of new short film “The Weight of it all”, which releases this Saturday, 8/24!
As we countdown the release, hear from Leah Holmes, the filmmaker, about her newest project:
Can you tell us more about this project?
The Weight of it All is a 17-minute short film that I wrote during the summer leading into my junior year at Northwestern, and directed that fall. The film follows a collegiate soccer star (Mason) whose mental state begins to deteriorate as she pushes herself to unhealthy limits to meet the high expectations within her competitive environment. The film had its world premiere at Catalina Film Festival in the summer of 2023, and went on to screen at several festivals across the country. The Weight of it All was nominated for Best Student Film at Burbank International Film Festival and won the Audience Choice Student Film award at Firstglance Film Festival. Due to film festival eligibility requirements, the film has not been accessible to the public. However, now that it’s completed its festival run, I am excited to finally be able to share it with a wider audience! The trailer is up on Youtube and the film will be available shortly!
What was your inspiration behind the film? Why did you decide to pursue this project?
The idea for the film was born out of a non-fiction feature story I wrote for a journalism course I took in the spring of my sophomore year. The story was an exploration of, what many consider to be, the mental health crisis in college sports. When, between the months of March and May of 2022, five collegiate athletes died by suicide, the crisis made national headlines. Out of interest, and as research for my own feature story, I read a lot of the news coverage. What I noticed was that many of these articles were written by people who were not only far removed from the sports world, but also the college landscape.
And it showed.
The stories were all numbers and stats, hard-hitting quotes and the objective and impartial voice that characterizes most journalistic practice. That is to say that, in my opinion, many of these stories lacked heart. They were two-dimensional and did little to trigger emotional responses. I wanted to do something different. I thought, I’m an athlete, I experience the day-to-day of college life, and I know what it takes to excel at this high level: I think I have an idea for how I can shed light on this important topic in a visually stimulating, emotionally charged, human way. I think I can do this story justice. I’ve always had an interest in filmmaking, and it was a goal of mine to direct a film. I decided to take what I had learned through the process of writing my feature story – the books I read, the athletes I spoke to – and write a fictional screenplay that encapsulates the student-athlete experience in full.
What was the process of creating the film? How did you manage it while also being a student-athlete?
Creating the film was one of the most difficult experiences I’ve had. Pre-production to post-production took about nine months. Writing the screenplay was a challenge – I wanted to make sure I hit on certain topics without making it feel like I was spoon-feeding audiences a certain message. I wanted the film, at its core, to feel like a story. I wanted the characters to be multi-layered and real, flawed and beautiful. I wanted audiences to feel something when they watched it; to be present during the viewing and to dissect its message later.
After I finished the script, I had to find a team. I had never spearheaded making a film before, and I knew little about the process. So I did research, talked to everyone I could, and recruited people to work with me. I ended up finding awesome producers who were able to help me bring my vision to life. The filming was its own beast. Considering my athletic commitments, finding free weekends to shoot was a struggle. I’m thankful that my coaches and teammates supported me throughout this process, and that we were able to find a way to make it work.
I definitely exerted a lot of time and energy to this project, and I felt there weren’t always enough hours in the day, or enough energy in my tank to do everything. But when I felt this way, I was reminded of why doing it was all the more necessary. As student-athletes, there are so many things pulling us in opposite directions; so much requiring our attention; the list is seemingly never-ending. Our lives are so much more than a stadium with bright lights and an opposing team. Competition is a very small part of it. Our experience is characterized by challenging classes, grueling hours on the field and in the weight room, late nights in the library, a limited social life, fueling properly, and, on top of it all, trying to get eight hours of sleep. Luckily, I was able to recruit some athlete friends to help out on set and I’m so thankful for their contributions. This was a full team effort that would not have been possible without the endless support of people in my circle, not limited to friends, family, teammates and the Northwestern athletic department.
What do you hope the film can accomplish? What takeaway do you hope audience members have?
I hope the film gives audience members a behind the scenes look into what it can be like to be a student athlete in this day and age. There is so much pressure to be perfect, to set a good example, to represent your school well and to live up to expectations. And now, with the role of social media, everything is heightened. While there are positives to social media, such as NIL opportunities and platform growth for athletes, it also opens up avenues for backlash, comparison culture and other things that can be detrimental to mental health. There is also a stigma surrounding asking for help in the sports environment – not just at the collegiate level, but as we’ve seen in recent years, at the professional level. The culture of sports is one that celebrates toughness and promotes “pushing through” adversity. Asking for help, in the minds of many young athletes, is seen as a weakness. I hope that my film can erase some of the stigma surrounding seeking help, and, at the very least, start a conversation about how we can better support athletes.
Why is mental health important to you? Why do you think it’s important to discuss the topic through film?
Mental health is important to me because I think it is something everyone is affected by, whether that be directly or peripherally. Even if you yourself aren’t the one struggling, you might have a friend or a family member going through something you can’t quite understand. One of the reason’s I think film is such a powerful storytelling technique is because it allows you to fully immerse yourself in a new world, to put yourself in someone else’s shoes and walk around in them for a while. If you allow yourself to be open minded and surrender to the story, you might find yourself a different person than when you first hit “play.” You might have a new perspective or gain insight into a topic you didn’t know much about. Film unlocks so many possibilities. I also think, for my generation in particular – young people who underwent instrumental years of growth, development and transformation during COVID – the trajectory of our lives were greatly impacted. Mental health struggles became more prominent and large amounts of people were, and continue to be, affected by the reverberations of COVID. I think that, as with most things, the more we talk about it, the less taboo it becomes. A steady, two-way line of communication is necessary to combat the stigma surrounding mental health and I think film is one avenue to achieve it.
How can readers support your film and its mission?
I think the first big step is that the film will finally be available to the public very soon. I am so excited to be able to partner with The Hidden Opponent and utilize their platform to get the film seen by more people! If you’re interested in supporting the film and its mission, we have an Instagram account that you can follow and/or check out for more info!
Also, once the film becomes available on Youtube, I would encourage people to share it with their friends and family, whether or not they play(ed) a sport. Some of the most impactful feedback I’ve received has been from-non athletes who watched the film and drew parallels to their own lives. While the film is about an athlete, you don’t have to be an athlete to have it resonate with you; I hope that everyone can find a way to connect with it.
That said, if you are an athlete and you enjoy the film, I would encourage you to share it with your teammates, coaches and athletic directors. When I first completed the film, I had a screening with my lacrosse team and I was blown away by their reactions. So many of my teammates said the film made them feel seen, and that it really stuck with them. My coaches were also present for the screening, which was huge. I think it’s important for coaches and people in positions of power to understand the intricacies of being an athlete so they can better support their teams. Being a coach is a difficult job, and it takes so much more than being knowledgeable and tactically adept to be a good one. Coaches need to see their players as, first and foremost, young men and women who are seeking to better themselves through sport. And, while being an athlete requires large amounts of discipline, sacrifice, and hard work, there is room for compassion, empathy and warmth. These things are not mutually exclusive, and I hope this film will help people realize that.
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